Saturday, October 12, 2013

tears

i miss you so effing much bby T.T i wannna meet u soon , i wish u're next to me right now . i will be soooooooo happy to meet you , i really miss you sososososososososo much , i can't even explain to u the pain . i wish u love me as much as i love you but perhaps i'm not as pretty or skinny or perfect as desiree , i wish i was but i guess i can't do anything about it. i watch couple vids and i wish u were with me to cuddle and love me. don't leave me , please don't leave me T.T ily imy so much

Monday, October 7, 2013

pain

i miss you so fucking much bby . T.T i can sleep in tears , flowing down my cheeks . why won't u ask me to meet u alr . imy imy imy imy imy imy imy imy imy so much . i really do . i love u , u won't call me urs becos u dont even love me for me . u like me for my body , why ! it hurts me so much to see u flirt with others . i wanna hug u and cuddle with u at night , rainy weather , ur warm body against my cold skin . i love u bby , come back to me please . love me as much as i love u please . TTTTT>TTTTTTTTTT ouch!

Sunday, October 6, 2013

hatred

everything is just slowly fading away . the words u used to say has vanished , the meaning to it vanished as well. i became a totally different person , a person i no longer know , a person that the previous me hates. over-protective when u aren't even my boyfriend . possesive , causing u to hate me , i am an over sensitive person (trying to change). i miss u , but i can feel the love fading away . u and ur desiree , it hurts me a lot . do u really have to tell me all those crap shit that caused me to imagine stuff? if u're playing with me ,play and never stop .just like how much effort u put in to play GTA V. i miss talking to u and being lovey dovey with u . can't wait for the exams to end ... like i want it to end.NOW idk shld i invite u for my sister's 18th birthday ? or shld i not... idk i want u to come but what if u get bored...

Thursday, October 3, 2013

idk

idk . idk what to think anymore , u know what it hurts more than a knife poking through my chest . or idk wat but ouch ? they all still talk to u , ok can maybe u treat me like all the other girls . she still texts u and u tell me that for what ?

Saturday, September 28, 2013

it hurts

watching couple videos at midnight.waiting to video call you . i miss you so fucking much bby . i miss those times when u called me ur princess . the times when i feel loved by u , it was the best feeling i've ever felt in my life .i can tear for u , cry my eyes out . my whole life , this is the first time i cried so much for someone.u made me cry u made me laugh , u made me blush . i love u so much , i feel inferior . im fatter than all the pretty teenage girls . im not as pretty as compared to the teens , im not up to ur standard. im dumb , i hardly get to play back with u becos im so fucking bloody stupid . spooning with u , i really i wish u're next to me . sleepovers and stuff , chalets and stuff .i love u bby , sometimes u're always hurting me by talking to the other girls but then i realize i do hurt u at times. love u bby

Thursday, September 26, 2013

love u

things got clarified , u're hopefully not lying to me ... i hope . i wanna call u tonight but wel... not such a good idea, chinese paper tmr . flunked eng paper today but i hope i'll pass. let's see bout tmr's paper :/ yesterday i was being an emotional bitch and i think i accidentally got u upset . u hit ur head and i didn't know how to comfort u . u said i was ur miss perfect and i wasn't fat . two compliments in a row . idk if its even true or not . i love u bby , i hope u love me back too:( u nvrfail to brighten my day and i cant cant can't wait for eoy to faster finish and i can finally meet up with u ... or maybe not :-( maybe by the end of eoy , you have gone to another girl , i hope not . i really pray . stay by me bby , i wanna wait for the perfect time to cuddle with u . i hope u'ill ask me out soon after eoy . miss u so bloody much . ur hands are heavy over my shoulder but u bring me comfort and warmth . love u bby , so much . cant wait for our vry first midnight movie . or maybe u're just playing with me . i wish u can just be straightforward . if u don't love me , can i be ur girl best friend? :(i wish , i pray . maybe ur 'love u' , 'princess' , 'baby' is just nothing , i hope not though . ily bby

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

memories

first time : 7th sep 2013
met you after the via project at greenwhich with ur friends , it was such an awkwardly beautiful moment. clearly im aware that im saliva conscience , i drank from ur straw and ate from ur fork .u bought me "awfully choco's" chocolate cake . im pretty sure im deeply in love with u . caught u smoking , hurt so much but you always cheer me up in the end although u were the cause of me getting hurt time and again.

second time : tuesday on sep holiday week
met u after sch in my sch outfit ,  no sweaty hands , nothing . best feeling , such a happy time but u actually made me wait for u for almost an hour ? or was it longer :-( don't feel loved . went back to put my bag and change to slippers . we walked all around aimlessly and sat at the void deck in the end . sat there , extremely boring but yet entertaining becos im with u . played with ur shoe and in the end saw the palaroid in ur wallet , i felt like i was stabbed everywhere . it hurt me so much :-( felt worse , but the  memories i have is just perfect with u . u taught me how to erase the ants track and u kept touching my head which makes my heart beat ten times faster. we sat there and while i was trying to get back my wallet , i was leggit on u without knowing . u were so warm , i just wanted to lie on ur lap and fall asleep with u next to me , it started raining , we were stranded there and i was happy but i suppose that u wanted to leave . cuddles , hugs , u are perfect to me , the reason why i love u is all that we've been through. even though we didn't make it through , ill always be here for u . i love u bby :-(

third time : sunday night on sept holiday week
last min meet up again and ur friends were there . i had to smell the horrifying smoke but tried to avoid the smell , thank almighty God that u didn't smoke when i was with u . supreme shirt and acid light washed shorts . bus ride , u asked me to sit next to u , ur hand on my chair but not on my shoulder , heart beating fast X100 alr . u and ur friend were talking bout something then we went to eat ice cream , ur treat again , vanilla ice cream . u fed me when ur friend left and i was like leggit dying alr . took bus back , sat at the back of a merc benz bus . u placed ur over on my shoulder and touched my face and my lips . playing or do u really love me ? love me for me or ur ex...? i was so confused if u even have one in the first place.

24th sep (today) :
i miss him so much , i just wish he's sitting next to me and i can cuddle with him . it's so icy cold and he's body is so warm . i wanna b sunder his arms in such a temperature . i love u so much , i've been confused about so many things . i'm also dying to meet u but exa,s are here T.T im also dying to chat with u on tango or facetime , anything will do . listening ur voice , being next to u , talking to u and of course seeing u is my biggest wish apart from safety for everyone and to do well in my studies . i hop u do well and u can go to express and ill remain in normal academic and we get to go to the same jc or poly :-( please study hard and not be so naughty bby :-( although no one is even seeing this ... i love u bby , i miss ur sweet mesasages , calling me ur princess was the best gift i've ever received. maybe ill invite u over for christmas ? maybe maybe i miss u bby i miss u so bloody much i wanna just cry now. love you bby bi really do T.T sorry for being me , im not worth ur love i guess . please dont play with me :-( ill be broken even more if u hurt me cos u mean so much to me now . i love u so much i really do